Peace with Kim

Driving home from our sorority reunion yesterday, I cried. Geez! My eyes tear up right now as I write. This weekend was light and delightful, on the outside. Under it all, this weekend was heavy with the power of friendship, determination, focus, creativity and love. Some girls brought shirts, scrapbooks, journals and other mementos of the sorority we created back in 1984. Friday night, we read through meeting minutes, and rush plans. We were organized to the 15 minutes! Anyone who's rushed a sorority is probably not surprised by this, but what is so heavy and hard to comprehend about this group is that we made it all up on our own. We started this organization from scratch, and for some reason we all went along with it. This is a group of 18 year old girls, away from home for the first time, with quite the varied personalities and upbringings, AGREEING!? We're still dumfounded at what we created, and quite proud. As I looked around at the smiling faces, I saw girls who's s...

Growing up we all used to have a special area in the house where we marked our height. It’s where Mom and Dad had us stand real straight, feet flat on the floor, heels back, head up, stay still. It’s where we marveled at how our bodies seemingly invisibly grew over a summer, a few months, a lifetime. Our house on Cottonwood Drive had that in the laundry room. I don’t remember doing it once we moved to Biscayne Drive in 8th grade. But I was reminded of this recently as I watched a movie, and saw a quick shot of that familiar wall in a family’s home. Those were the days. When people owned their home, and knew they’d never leave, knew their grandchildren would be marked along side their parents measurements on that same wall. I never had that faith of stability or home ownership once I moved away, and it saddens me that our house doesn’t have a height wall. I’m sad that I didn’t have that faith of stability when we finally settled into Clovis 5 ½ years ago. All my professional life I had ...

Over the last two years I’ve changed the way I eat. That’s working. I‘ m eating more from the earth and less from packages. Now, I’ m trying to use more natural products in the toiletry department and having a much harder time. First, I threw out my antiperspirant. Studies say the aluminum in antiperspirant could be linked to Alzheimer’s Disease. Hmm, after sweating and stinking through too many blazers that needed to be dry cleaned far too often, I ditched the deodorant and went back to the lovely antiperspirant. Ah. I feel and smell much better. It just wasn’t a logical change for my life. I tried going natural with my face. I went on vacation and used no makeup. I just used sunscreen during the day and jojoba oil as my moisturizer at night. I broke out with a horrible, itchy red rash, like dermatitis. I thought it was the oil so I put it aside. Well, last week, I was outside doing yard work, sweating, when my face broke out in this rash again. Hmmm, it was a different sunscreen, but...

Excuse me if I seem to be zoning out. I am. I'm back in 1983. I've been reading the blog of our old babysitter. She's in her first semester of college about 4 hours away chronicling her days of school, roommates, new friends, living on her own, and managing high school memories. I am so proud of her for moving away, no matter how hard it is. Reading her blog is taking me straight back to Whitney Hall at Chico State when I was on my own for the first time, trying to find myself after a very sheltered childhood. I hear Madonna music and caddy girls asking who was homecoming queen. I remember trying to decide which jelly shoes and jeans to wear to the Phi Ta fraternity house party, how to survive Economics class, and starting a new sorority. My chest still feels the power of a new friendship in my roommate, Madeline, the insecurity of not feeling worthy of friendship with the girl across the hall, Kelly, and the wonder I held for Jan who's energy was so foreign to me. Now,...